Thoughts from the Car
by Joy1
Summary: Logan's Thoughts in Blah Blah...Woof Woof
1. Logan's thoughts

Title: Thoughts from the car (Logan)

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: G

Summary: Blah blah…Woof woof

Disclaimer: Not my characters 

This is it. I am dropping her here. I don't want to but I have to. She is going, going with him. She is reluctant. I tell her she will be ok. She says it is me she is worried about. I know she cares. She looks like she is in so much pain. I have to say something to let her know how I feel. "I'll miss you" is all I can manage. This is so strange. I have only known her for a few months. It hurts deep in my chest. Why?

I am waiting for her to say she will miss me too or she cares about me. Something. We just sit here in silence. She looks like she might cry but I know she won't. I want to make it better for her. I can't even look in her eyes right now or she will see the pain I am in.

She says I can come with her. Meet new people; see exotic places. I laugh. Me, a paraplegic go with her and wonder boy. He wants her to himself. I'd slow her down. I tell her so. She says that's ok. She doesn't mind, but I do. I mind if I got her caught. I mind being a third wheel to the super twins. But still she wants me there. She doesn't want to leave. Not just here, but me. She doesn't want to leave me. She can't stay for me. 

I have to go back: the downtrodden; Blah Blah woof woof I say. That she will understand. Greater good and junk like that. That will make sense in her mind.

Every time I look at her it hurts more. I look at my hands. I can't stand to see her pout. I hate that she is hurting.

She moves to leave. She is really going… "Take care of yourself" I say. "You too," she says. We are more to each other than this. I feel like I have a chest wound. I ache. I watch her walk away. She stops & turns around. She is walking back to me. What is she doing? Her eyes are filled with emotion. She kisses me, holding my head. Her lips that I have longed for are now on mine. She cares for me deeply. I kiss her back. I don't want her to go. I hold her head, kissing her long and hard. I look into her eyes, touching her cheek. She is looking into my soul. It hurts so much. Don't go! Don't go. She doesn't want to leave. She has shown me her feelings for me. I hold her face. 

"Just go," I say. I look into those eyes, then at those lips, memorizing her face. I hold her tight then let her go. I hold my breath as I watch her walk away. She doesn't look back. I swallow hard. She is really gone…

****************************************************************************

Back at my apartment, I stare at the rain. She is gone. My friend tries to comfort me with teas. I suggest drugs. We watch the rainfall. Maybe she is watching it too. I hurt. I miss her. He can tell. He says I could go with her. 

She is too young and I am too crippled. She would tire of me quickly. She needs to be able to go in a heartbeat and I cannot. It was right to let her go I say. For a thousand different reasons and I always do the right thing? 

It sucks. I want to be with her. I want her here with me. I miss her. I don't want her gone from me. Now what do I have? A crusade. A crusade without her. That is nothing. My heart aches. I have nothing now, now that she is gone. 

I give in. I give up. I will let my pain take me. 


	2. Max's thoughts

Title: Thoughts from the car (Max) 

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: G

Summary: Blah blah…Woof woof

Disclaimer: Not my characters.

We are saying goodbye. I am leaving. That used to be no big deal. I just left all the rest of my friends in a pinch no problem, but this hurts. He tells me I'll be ok. I say I know it is him I am worried about. I can't stay. I know that, but I don't want to go. I can't look at him. If I do, I'll cry. Crying is a sign of weakness and I can't afford to be weak now. 

He won't look at me either. I think it hurts too much. He says he'll miss me. God, why did he have to say that? I'll miss him too. This sucks. I can't just walk away. I want to, but I can't. I was trained to, and I can't. Come with me is the gist of what I tell him. I hate that I can't be without him. I want to stay. I have a life here, with him. 

He won't come. "I'll just slow you down," he says. "It's ok," I say without a second thought. I don't mind. I don't mind that is what is scary. I don't mind his arrogance or flaws. I just want him with me. He has to stay for the downtrodden, the cause. He couldn't come. I know that. I just don't want to go, but I have to. 

I have to get out of this car or I will go to pieces. I go for the door. "Take care of yourself," he says. "You too," I say. I walk around the car. I am almost to the door. A few more steps. No. It can't end like this. I turn around and go back. I will show him how I feel. He looks so confused. I kiss him, holding his head. He kisses me back. He cares for me I know. Now I know he is aware I care for him. He looks into my eyes, we see each others pain. He looks at my eyes, then lips, and then face. He doesn't want to let me go. 

"Just go," he says to remind me I **_have to_** leave. It hurts so badly. I turn from him and don't look back. I can't. If I did, I would never leave. I am inside the safe house. He hasn't started the car yet. We both know it's over…

Zach tries to convince me that he understands what I am going through. How he wants the same things I do. He wants friends and people to connect with. It was as if the speech was more for him then me. I think he might want those things with me. I don't want that with him. I don't want to think about it…

I wake up with a shot. There is something wrong with Logan. I know it. I can feel it. I call to check on him. I get a friend. I want to talk to Logan. He is busy. I hear background noise. They are at a hospital. Why are they there? He has been having problems I am told. Where are they? Metro.

Zach will try to stop me. Logan needs me. Zach does not want me to go back. I will get caught he thinks. I will never be free if I go back. Logan needs me. He has given up. I know he needs me. I will fight Zach to get to Logan. I will risk myself for him. 

I arrive at the hospital. He needs blood I am told. They don't have anymore to give him. I will give him the blood he needs. I don't care how much as long as he is ok. That is all that matters. This might be what love is, sacrificing ones self. "You die on me I'll kick your ass," I say as I look at him unconscious. I cry. Tears run down my cheeks. My moment of weakness. If I get caught it doesn't matter, just as long as he is ok. You have to be OK….


End file.
